Friday, June 28, 2013

So basically Korean is the most difficult thing I've ever done in my whole entire life and it's really hard and oh did I mention that's really hard? I'm learning so much and trying to do the best that I can. The other day when we were studying a teacher stopped by and asked where we were going to be serving. He told us that Korea really needed good missionaries because one day the North would open up and be free and it would need good members in South Korea to go to the North and establish the Church. Then I read D&C 133:26-24 which I think mentions like the north ends of the world hearing the gospel or something I can't remember because I don't have my scriptures right now and that was promised to the tribe of Ephraim and that's my tribe! So I thought that was cool. I love my patriarchal blessing and I read it all the time for comfort and when I need to be uplifted.
The first Sunday here was special as you all know so we had a massive relief society meeting with all the sisters at the MTC. The Spirit was so so strong and it was amazing to be in a room full of worthy daughters of God that are willing to serve Him. At the end of the meeting we all sang Sisters of Zion which is basically As Sisters in Zion but the missionary version and I was trying sooooo hard to hold back tears. Side note: I am now the worst cry baby in the entire world. Whenever the Spirit is there my eyes go bazooka it's realy embarrassing. I straight up cried for like an entire two hours in my class the other day and everyone felt super bad for me. But I'll tell you about that later. Anyway we sang a verse that said "the angels of heaven are walking beside us" and I lost it. I know that Courtney will be walking alongside me as I serve throughout my mission. Her Spirit will help me and she'll be my little angel that helps me survive in Korea.

Okay so basically my teacher is the best thing that ever happened to me. He is aaaaamaaaazing. He was called as branch president after 9 months of being in Korea. Branch President. White boy. 9 months. Korea. Soak that up. I try to convince myself that if he can do that than I can at least learn the language. But it's so hard.
So back to the crying for a whole two hours. So before mom and dad left they told me that they knew that I'd be a great missionary and I'd bless the people of Korea. That was hard for me to hear because it's so difficult to imagine that I could be a good missionary when I can't speak or understand the language yet and I won't be able to really communicate with them for a while. But this experience that is completely foreign to me has really brought me to my knees. I have to rely on the Lord with my whole soul. Okay I'm getting choked up writing this what is wrong with me. Anyway I know that it is ONLY through Christ that I will be able to do this. There is no other way. I know that God loves me and I know He hears my prayers and I that He will give according as He sees fit. But it's sooo hard to be patient. I was asked what I learned my first week and I would have to say that I learned how to pray. Which seems weird because we learn at such a young age how to pray. But I learned how to really pray. I pour my heart out to Heavenly Father every night and pray for strength and comfort. It's so hard to see myself in the same way that the Lord does. I feel inadequate as myself, but I know that with the Lord's help I can do His will. The Book of Mormon is amazing. I live for personal study time. Read the scriptures you will learn so much and they will help you in whatever you need.
Last thought of the day I read the scripture Alma 37:45 and loved the scripture. Also Mosiah 2:41.
The first one talks about how following the words of Christ will take us from our vale of sorrows to far better land. I love that. Just follow Christ and we will be blessed. Mosiah talks about the never-ending happiness that comes from keeping the commandments. I cannot wait to have never-ending happiness that sounds so awesome to me considering my emotions right now are a rollercoaster ride.
I love you all thank you so much for your letters. Honestly they make my day. My whole district hates me for getting like 37482983 letters a day so keep them coming. You guys bring me so much happiness and I don't know what on earth I would do without you. Never ever fall away from the church because I will kill you if you do and that's breaking a commandment sooo don't make me do that. I can't wait until we are all reunited and can go to the temple and I can cry my eyes out again because I'm so happy that we are a family FOREVER!!
Love you to death. Pray for me please I am in desperate need of all the help I can get. I love you I love I love you. Until next week!
Blick cha meh neem 

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